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Showing posts from 2013

All change.........

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..............it's true to say, as I'd so often been told before Charlie was born, that "having a baby would change your life", to be fair you've got to be a simpleton to think otherwise, but it is true. What I never understood, and I can only assume this be the case for all new parents that are desperate to begin their own family, was how much more incredible it makes life.
Sleep deprivation, scalding your mouth constantly whilst trying to hoof a meal down, forgetting just about everything, not knowing if you're awake, asleep or floating, not doing anything other than, feed, change, coo and gaze at your baby, drinking copious amounts of cold coffee, becomes your way of life, your incredible life. You know what? The moment I stared at my little boy for the first time, I knew that would be the case. What I wasn't ready for however, was the complete and utter adoration, that just continues to grow day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. It's all cons…

It's been a while.......

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.....since the Fan Dance and subsequently the last post, so what's happened since? Back in January, the 6th to be exact, Caroline and I discovered that we were expecting our first child, and on working the dates we found out that little Rushy was due to be born - the day before The Paras'10 at Catterick, September 7th. I'd already paid for my entry to all three Paras'10 events for 2013, but from very early on Mrs R, made it crystal clear that there would be no way I would be collecting my 'Treble of Pain' T Shirt!

As the day loomed closer jokes were shared with Stephen Cooper (Director of the ParaCharity) that we could call the little man 'Catterick', especially if he did actually turn up on race day, which for a time looked likely!

Caz's waters broke late Saturday on the Eve of the Paras'10, actually on his due date, and for a while we did anticipate that the little man would indeed take his bow that day, but labour laboured and come Monday morni…

It's been emotional.........

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.......in every sense, and I can honestly say, in the last few days, when it comes to emotions; I've been through them all. 


There are tough events, and then there's the Fan Dance!
Let me put it into context:


Saturday 20th July, I'm awake at 0440, the alarm is due to go off at 0515. The bed is unfamiliar and the room is like a frickin sauna! I lay there just waiting for the ducks to start quacking (if you have an iPhone, you'll understand) and listening to and watching my wife sleep. My admin is sorted, so I've got nothing to keep my mind occupied, well that I can get on with, without disturbing Caroline. When I return to the room from the shower, my beautiful wife as she always does, had placed a card where I had been laying, every event she has done this, and boy does it put a lump in the throat. I'm just waiting for breakfast to turn up and to get myself in my kit. Breakfast arrives and to be fair, I can't face it, the banana loaf that's on the tray lo…

Back to strapping on the Bergen.........

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.........and trying to avoid the wife coming at me with menace in her eyes waggling the bottle of Germolene Newskin! If anyone's read my post-Catterick post they'll remember exactly what I'm talking about! I always vowed that if someone came at me with that stuff again I'd knock 'em out, however to ensure that doesn't happen it would appear that I've got two choices, grin and bear it, or grin and bear it! The weather has been as hit and miss as the training and invariably, the bergen has gone on, when the sun has been at it's warmest, which is ridiculous, considering how much we've seen it this year! But as a result, the warm 'training' weather and bergen aren't good bed fellows for the back and the skin generally takes exception to it.

Probably wise to rewind a little, training has been, I'll be honest, as I've already alluded to, hit and miss this year. Finding out we are expecting Little Rushy has meant that everything else has…

It seems like an age.......

......since I last wrote.....so maybe a little update of where things are at are in order! It's been a tough month, Lloydy's birthday has just passed and I find the build up and the days after quite difficult to deal with. Again it makes it hit home that time doesn't make things any easier, time just allows you to deal with it better. I know that latter part is true, because on a daily basis I do think about him, but generally now with a smile and a laugh, well after I've finished my normal morning ritual of listening to 'Brothers in Arms' and 'Don't Stop me Now'. I don't do that for morbid reasons, I do it, because it gives me focus, it helps me put the daily grind into perspective, it also enables me to have some time just purely dedicated to him, to think and to help remind me of the person I am, the person my brother believed in. I'm not sure if that sounds pretentious, it's not meant to, but to me, not many things are more important…

Taking the rough with the smooth......

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.....seems to be a maxim, very applicable to everyday life! I'm not a special case, so I'll leave it there. It's been a while since I last wrote a blog post, and in that time a lot has happened, Caroline and I have been on Honeymoon, and found out we are expecting our first baby, and I've completed my third Paras'10 inside 6 months! It's been a rollercoaster to say the least. 

After all the build up with my training and the weather putting paid to my bid to conquer the Fan Dance, I almost slipped into a state of apathy, not deliberately, but because, all of sudden priorities changed. Two weeks before the Fan Dance Caroline and I found out we were pregnant, which for us was a bit of a miracle, we'd been trying for a long time and literally found out the day before we were due to be referred for treatment.

From that moment, everything changed, and if truth be told it was the major pull in the decision not to chance travelling to the Fan in the first place, I co…